Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Monday, July 3, 2017

5 Things Not to Do When the Search Algorithm Changes

Fiverr's search placement algorithm is changing, or, perhaps, something else is changing – Fiverr does experiment more and more often, after all – and your gig is no longer where it used to be. You're not getting as many sales as you used to get. Maybe you're not getting sales at all. It's certainly scary, especially if you've come to depend on Fiverr, but there are things that you shouldn't do, because they won't help, and might hurt you in the long run.

What are they?

1. Repeatedly Complaining on the Forum

While voicing out your concerns is perfectly fine, it's enough to do it once. Complaining over and over about the same thing, all over the Fiverr Forum, or even creating several topics about it, won't help you get sales. It will only get you labeled as a whiner and a spammer, and, if you're a marketer of any kind, be prepared to get the inevitable You're a marketer, use your expertise to market your services and get sales.

On a side note, if you claim to be an expert marketer (digital marketer, social media marketer, email marketer, copywriter, or anything related to marketing), and you complain on the forum that you're not getting sales, you will be seen as incompetent. After all, if you can't successfully market your own service, your gigs can't be really useful to your customers, either.

2. Demanding the Same Spot in the Search That You Had Before

As Customer Support will tell you if you ask them, there's no guarantee that you will have a certain spot in the search – or that you will show up in search at all. On top of that, there's a limited number of spots on the first (or any other) page: you holding one of those spots means that thousands of other sellers are not there. You making sales just because you're on the first page means that others are not selling; in other words, by demanding to be on the first page in search, you're demanding to be put above others, and you're demanding (if you believe that you're getting sales solely because of your position in the search) that all the sales go to you at the expense of other sellers. And if, after all that, you say something like I just want Fiverr to be fair – well, does it sound fair to you to get sales at the expense of other sellers, who also have bills to pay and families to feed?

3. Bashing Other People

Being rude or unpleasant to other people isn't going to help you. Offending other Fiverr members or Fiverr staff, or accusing other people of ruining you, will do absolutely nothing about your position in the search; it will just make people see you as unpleasant/unreasonable/selfish. On top of that, if you're rude to other Fiverr members or Fiverr staff, you could get in trouble, because Fiverr is meant to be  friendly place.

What about The Ranting Pot on the forum? Sure, it's meant for ranting, but keep in mind that the forum rules still stand, and that there's a limit to what you're allowed to say before you get suspended.

By all means, discuss things through, talk to others about possible strategies and solutions, but remember to remain courteous.

4. Begging for Orders

Begging is a no-no. People order from you because they need something, and you can provide it. Crying that you need money/have a family to feed is highly unlikely to land you sales. You might get a few, out of pity, but pity isn't a good foundation for a business. You need money? So does everyone else, except for a very small number of Fiverr sellers who do it just to occupy their time. You have bills to pay, you need to put food on the table? So do the others. However, except for a few pity cases, nobody will order from you simply because you need money; if you don't find a way to reach people who actually need something from you regardless of where the search algorithm places you, you are not going to have sales, and no amount of begging will change that. Quite the contrary: you will appear desperate, and nobody wants to work with desperate people.

5. Expecting the World (or Fiverr) to Just Give You Whatever You Want

Should I even say that it's not going to happen?

But, wait, what does it have to do with Fiverr's search algorithm?

This: some people who have lost something that was never guaranteed to them in the first place (like a specific place in search, or any place in search) seem to believe that they're entitled to that thing, that they have every right to demand it, and that it should be given exclusively to them. Just because. Or because they have worked for it, and came to believe that it's now theirs to keep forever.

The thing is, the world doesn't work that way, and neither does Fiverr. There are no guarantees for anything, so expecting to get something just because you want it (yes, you have worked for it; other people have worked for it and want it, too) is futile.

The only thing you can expect for certain is change. If you're not able to adapt, if you're not able to keep finding new, more efficient ways to get what you want, you will fail.

Don't be that person.

Learn how to adapt, learn how to find a way to get what you want, and win.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

5 Fun Things to Do During a Fiverr Dry Spell

A dry spell at Fiverr is often stressful, and, while stress can be stimulating, you also need to relax and take care of your health. Here are some ideas what to do to entertain yourself, and, possibly, give yourself strength to keep moving on.

1. Get a Silly Haircut

All right, don't get a silly haircut if it will get you fired from your day job, or if you'd really, really hate it. Do change your appearance, though. It can be a silly haircut (or simply a different haircut or a different hair color), or shaving your head, or wearing something you don't usually wear (switching from casual to formal or sportsy or hippie or whatever), or start wearing a lot of jewelry if you don't usually do it (it can be cheap), or...

Don't do something that would get you arrested, and don't do something that would be difficult to reverse (like getting a tattoo or having plastic surgery done) unless you're completely certain that you really want it and that it isn't the stress talking. The point is to temporarily step out of your own skin, and possibly see things in a new light (and, preferably, to have fun while doing it).

2. Call Someone and Request Something Silly of Them

Only do this with a person you trust. For example, call that person, and ask them to marry you (you should be certain that this person would not misunderstand you and really accept something that neither of you wants). Or suggest that the two of you run away together and see the world, or travel the space, or start exporting tuna to penguins. Talk about it. Make plans. Imagine, together, what will it be like. Dream. Joke. Laugh.

It's a good psychological trick to get yourself unstuck, so you can get back to the business (analyzing, if necessary, then coming up with solutions, implementing them, experimenting, finding new solutions... It's always a work in progress).

3. Dance a Silly Dance

Or do silly warrior moves. Or whichever silly physical action you can come up with, as long as you don't harm anyone (yourself included). If you have no idea how to dance, or have zero experience with martial arts, or can't think of anything physical to do, search the Internet, imitate what you see, and make it as silly as you can.

Ideally, it will make you laugh (possibly while feeling like a fool, but that's fine), help you relax a bit, and put some oxygen into your brain, so you can finally think of something more useful than endless worry and despair.

4. Create Terrible Art

Play an instrument you have no idea how to play (just don't break it!). Write poetry if you don't know how, and never read any. Sing, even though you can't catch a tune (especially if you can't catch a tune). Draw, paint, make ugly jewelry (you can wear it later), sculpt something, make something out of pebbles or newspapers or whatever you can get your hands on.

It's not supposed to end up good, or to teach you to do something (although, if you feel like learning something, go ahead and do it!). It's supposed to allow you to have fun, and to let you know it's perfectly fine if what you make ends up far from perfect (or even passable).

Relax. Laugh. Enjoy. You need it.

5. Make a Terrible Dish

It doesn't matter whether you know how to cook or not; either way, there's certainly something you don't know how to make. Go on and make it. Rush things up, or slow them down unnecessarily. Change the instructions at will, or don't even read them, and come up with your own idea how to make that dish instead. Don't poison yourself or anyone else (a stay at a hospital isn't going to make you feel any better), but other than that, feel free to make the worst dish on the planet.

Once it's made, smell it. Taste it. Eat it, if it's edible. Laugh about it. Notice whether somebody died (no), and whether the world ended (again, no).

The world didn't end, and neither did your Fiverr business. It's just a slow period, or maybe you're doing something wrong. After making yourself laugh and relax, you'll be able to see things in a new light, and come up with new solutions and new business ideas (Fiverr-related or not).

Allow yourself to act silly. Have fun. Learn something while doing it.


Keep moving, and win.

Friday, October 7, 2016

Organic Followers Are People!

Every now and then, I notice someone seeking to buy or sell "organic followers" for a Facebook page, Twitter account, Instagram account, or some other social media page/account/whatever.

They sound so mysterious, these organic followers.

Are they like organic food?

Well, strictly speaking, almost all food is organic. If I remember correctly, other than some salts that we need, there's no such thing as inorganic food. Rocks are inorganic, and you better not eat them. Metals are inorganic. Walls of your house are inorganic, unless you're a witch living in a house made of candy.

In other words, organic food doesn't simply mean that your food is organic – if it's edible, it's almost certainly organic – it means that your food is supposed to be super-healthy and safe to eat. It's not really as healthy as those selling it would want you to believe, but it's advertised as such.

Just like organic followers are advertised as safe. They'll follow the account you want them to follow, and stay with it forever.

But what are they, and how do you get them?

If you wish, try to imagine Charlton Heston saying this: "Organic followers are people!"

Wait, what?

That's what the term "organic followers" means. People.

People like your Aunt Amanda, who wanted to be a ballerina when she was a little girl, but is now selling insurance, and hating it.

People like Cousin Molly, who works in retail and wants to get married. Or like your friend Linda, who is working hard to become a nurse because she enjoys helping people; or her sister Megan who is a doctor.

There's also your Uncle Bob, who is a carpenter. And your Mom, a proud housewife and a mother of four. And your Dad, who recently got retired but still wants to work. And this girl you know, who wants to travel the world and become a marine biologist and...

And many others.

People.

People with hopes and dreams, people who desire and get bored and tired and want a lot but have a limited amount of time and energy.

People who are all labeled as "organic followers" and seen as numbers following a social media account.

But why would they? What's in it for them? Why should they care about that social media account? Will it solve one or more of their problems? Will it entertain them? Will it do something useful for them? Who is the person or the company behind that account, anyway, and what does that person or company want from all these people? To help them (how, exactly), or just to sell them stuff that will clutter their space and their lives and do nothing good for them?

When thinking about how to get (and keep) "organic followers", those are the questions that you might want to answer.


Because organic followers are people, not just numbers following a social media account. And they should be treated with respect, and offered something of value. Just the way you'd want your friends and family to be treated.

Friday, May 27, 2016

The Glamorous Life of Freelancers

Go and become a freelancer, they said. It will be fun, they said. You can work in your underwear and go out for a cup of coffee whenever you like, they said.

Yeah, right.

Some people strongly believe that being your own boss is awesome. It is, if you either honestly enjoy working, or if you're capable of bossing yourself around in order to meet the deadlines, advertise your business, and get stuff done.

And that's just work; let's see what my last Friday looked like.

Woke up at 6:30 in the morning, read a book for an hour because I work better if I start my day like that and because I'll be writing about it on one of my blogs (and because I'm interested in that book, of course).

Then, the morning routine, then putting the laundry in the washing machine and starting the machine.

Making coffee, then checking out Fiverr. A client wanted some changes in the script, so I did them. There was no more work, so I took care of the social accounts stuff.

Got the laundry out of the machine, placed it to dry. The client loved the revised script. Yay!

Went to the Post Office to send a book I sold via the local version of eBay, then to the bank to pay the electricity bill (the payment line in the Post Office was too long). Went to the green market, got potatoes, went back home to drop potatoes, went to the supermarket to buy groceries. Washed the dishes, started preparing lunch/dinner (we think about it as lunch, but considering when we eat it, it's closer to dinner). Cleaned the bathroom (cleaning toilet bowl included), vacuumed, watched over the lunch/dinner. During the breaks, participated on the Fiverr forum and a bit on the social accounts. Also answered some questions some prospects had and sketched some blog posts.

Lunch/dinner time, ate, kept checking the Forum and social stuff.

And that's what it looks like when there's very little work (one script only); I still have to take care of the housework (being a freelancer doesn't make housework and all the mundane tasks magically go away), send sold books, pay the bills, cook, and so on. Now imagine there were also a few scripts, book blurbs, and book titles to write.

Sometimes the business is slow (often on a Friday or during the weekend), so I take care of other stuff. Sometimes it's writing all day, and still not finishing it all. Sometimes it's attending book promotions or festivals and then writing about it, plus writing for clients. Sometimes it's networking (online, RL, or both), and then writing for clients. Or a combination of it all.

There's always work, in its various forms, and I like it. Glamorous life, on the other hand? Or spending all day in my pajamas, and only working when/if I feel like it? Not going to happen.

P.S. And today? I couldn't do the laundry because the valve for the washing machine broke (hopefully I'll manage to have it fixed within a somewhat reasonable time-frame), and I couldn't deliver the work because Fiverr was first down for 8+ hours, and then the messaging and the delivery didn't work for some time. Glamorous.